


thrill of the chase

by Darkfromday



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Gen, Girls Bonding Over Shared Experiences, Kingdom Hearts III Second Anniversary, Left Behind 3 Starring Kairi, Post-Kingdom Hearts: Melody of Memory, Working Out Feelings Through Training Session
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-16 02:47:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28823949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkfromday/pseuds/Darkfromday
Summary: "Actually, I'd like to study under Master Aqua."At the Land of Departure, Kairi trains with the one person she's sure won't let her be left behind by her friends any more.
Relationships: Aqua & Kairi (Kingdom Hearts), Kairi & Riku & Sora (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	thrill of the chase

**Author's Note:**

> Last year: Naminé appreciation.  
> This year: Kairi appreciation.  
> Next year: ???

The sun is setting, slowly but surely, over the training garden and the majestic golden castle in the distance. It is the end of a very long day, full of sweating and small accomplishments. In a matter of minutes the sun will sink below the horizon and darkness will overtake light.

That means Kairi has only a few minutes left to defeat Aqua in combat.

She's been losing so far, as anyone might expect—Aqua's ice and thunder magic especially have knocked her mercilessly around the field, until Kairi came to resemble a half-drowned kitten with frizzy blood-red fur more than a plucky princess of heart. It makes perfect sense, even if it's frustrating. Though she made great strides under Merlin's tutelage, there is still so much she doesn't know about wielding a Keyblade. Pitting her up against Xehanort and Organization XIII on short notice was bad enough; against a far friendlier opponent with decades of physical _and_ magical training under her belt, Kairi doesn't stand a chance.

Unless—unless she takes Aqua by surprise. Unless she thinks a little deviously, and exploits a weakness.

 _I know just which one_.

Aqua's cartwheel dodge is flawless in battle, highly effective for evading hordes of Heartless, Nobodies, or Unversed. But it has the downside of leaving her upright, flushed and vulnerable for just a _fraction_ of a second. It's not something most people notice in the middle of a fight—not her friends, not her opponents—but Kairi, for whom dodging while attacking is _also_ an essential aspect of battle, took note of it immediately the first time she noticed it.

Her own evasion method condenses her into pure darting light for about the same fraction of time as Aqua's cartwheel, but with the added benefit of making her completely untouchable to an enemy once she's disappeared. So if she wants, she can aim her Keyblade at Aqua now, send an Aerora blast at her teacher, and wait _just long enough_ for Aqua to smirk and dodge out of the way...

...and take her eyes off of Kairi for a second.

_Yes!_

Kairi taps into the inner warmth she has carried since childhood, and becomes that bouncing ball of pure light again, darting forward to exactly the spot where she knows Aqua will come to rest. When she reforms into herself again, the first thing she sees is the utter shock on Aqua's face as she bounces into place, then rears back at being so close to her opponent.

Kairi doesn't hesitate—she immediately throws Destiny's Embrace forward, watching it spin gracefully, relishing—at last—the sound of the metal hitting skin and not other metal. By the time she has warped forward to catch her blade and continue the attack, Aqua has recovered enough from her new bruise to conjure a giant tsunami of water over their heads, facing Kairi.

_Oh no!_

The water shivers threateningly, dangerously—then crashes down.

A blazing, brilliant sphere surrounded by pink stars materializes just in time to part the waves—Kairi's own Barrier magic, adopted and adapted from the perfect sphere Aqua manifests when she wants to cancel an attack by standing still. She holds her free hand out, maintaining the shield as long as possible, and gathers all her might to push the light outward and overwhelm her foe with a counterattack—

—and unexpectedly, the top of her Barrier takes a slap from a stronger new wave, and _cracks_.

Water rushes into the shield faster than Kairi can dispel it; she yelps as she's submerged and dragged to the other end of the garden in a giant spinning bubble.

It takes time, far too much time, to aim her Keyblade down, set off a blast of air to escape her bubble, and then turn the sloshing mess of water into steam so her footing is steady again when she lands back on the grass. By the time she's twirling her weapon and getting ready to warp back across the garden to re-engage, a huge bell begins tolling from far away.

"Enough," Aqua says, setting off brief sparks in the air with her Keyblade, Stormfall. She points to the moon rising slowly but steadily in the distance. "You fought well, Kairi. But the sun has set, and I'm still standing."

Kairi droops as sadly as her damp hair. _Which means she's won... again._

"That's all for today."

✯

 _The next day will be better_ , Kairi tells herself in the shower. _Every fight is a lesson. Every lesson gives me experience. Tomorrow I'll improve._ _Tomorrow I'll win._

Except she's told herself this many, many times before. And thus _tomorrow_ , when it becomes _today_ , dawns bright and clear and damp from the evening rain, and Kairi spars with Aqua all day long only to lose to her at moonrise (again) after a whirlwind of angry fire flowers.

When they go back to the castle again to rest and recover, Terra is nice enough to lend Kairi his worn old punching bag to swing and swear at for the rest of that long, sleepless night.

_...Another tomorrow, then._

✯

But she loses horribly the next day, too.

And the next.

And the next.

✯

Loss number six.

Kairi grinds her teeth until they ache, so that she won't scream out all her fury and frustration instead. Nearly a week of losses, in a larger month of the same. And any experience gained isn't enough. Day after day after day passes, with no change.

 _Well_.

Actually, the only change that occurs is exactly _how_ she gets whipped in battle. Sometimes it's with magic, on their spell-only spars. Sometimes it's with physical attacks only, when they play a Struggle-similar game where the person with the least bruises and orbs lost wins. And one time they even forego their Keyblades entirely, opting to wrestle each other instead—and Kairi _still_ fails because Aqua is older and smarter and stronger, and she has this little trip kick that's _impossible_ to avoid.

She doesn't hop up immediately from the ground this evening, like she'd done in the past. No. Kairi just sits, and bows her head, and bites her lip hard enough to bruise.

Aqua trots over, flushed but otherwise mostly unscathed. "Kairi?" she ventures carefully, trying to bend to see her pupil's face. "Let's go inside. It'll be full-dark soon."

"...What's the point?" Kairi whispers. "When I'll just be back on my butt in a few hours anyway? No thanks. I'll just stay out here."

"What? Where's _this_ coming from?"

"Oh, I don't know!" Her voice gets higher, and wobbles, not used to remaining in that register for long. "Maybe from losing for the sixth time in a row after barely marking you at all? Maybe from making _absolutely zero progress_ as a Keyblade wielder after everything that's happened?"

"Kairi..."

But she can't stop; her cheeks are hot and her vision starts to blur. It's too much. It's all too much. "Maybe it's from being unable to hold my own in a simple _sparring lesson_ while my friends, _my best friends_ , are out alone in another whole new world I'll never ever _ever_ be able to reach at this rate, fighting who knows what?! Please tell me, Master Aqua, because I'm not having much luck figuring it out myself!"

Kairi raises her arm and hurls Destiny's Embrace away. It disappears in a flash of tiny flower-shaped lights, and doesn't come back to her hand.

Aqua's speechless, apparently, because she doesn't say anything else for a while after saying Kairi's name. Just steps closer and closer, until Kairi's bowed head comes up to her thigh-high stockings, and waits for a while. Kairi doesn't speak or move—until she feels a gentle pressure moving over her hair, picking out the day's mud and twigs, and smoothing the rest down. Like an older sister, or the mother she doesn't remember, or the grandmother she scarcely sees these days.

The dam breaks open (just a little) and she feels more scalding tears race down her cheeks. Kairi hasn't cried, _really_ cried, since the night she found Riku again after so long apart. And before that, not since she'd let go of Sora's hand in a world of darkness, forced back to the islands while he went on to worlds mysterious. But both those times there was at least one precious person with her to dry her tears, or at least encourage her not to let her sadness bring her down for long. At least back then there was a shining _certainty_ that the three of them would be together again.

Now, she has no one. Sora is still gone without a trace, and Riku's trail of clues manifested a path for him to take to find Sora—without her.

 _No... that isn't fair_.

He'd _wanted_ her to go with him. She'd seen it in his eyes. After so long fighting by himself, Riku seems ready and willing to accept any companionship he can find in the long war against darkness, or disorder, or separation. And despite everything, Kairi is still one of his best friends—one of the precious people he wants to protect. But that's also the problem.

 _She_ hadn't been ready to join him yet. To become a fellow fighter instead of a powerful-but-tiny burden. After a year asleep in her memories, after nearly being defeated by a phantom from her own mind in that same year, Kairi could not yet be called strong enough to venture out to her _own_ worlds mysterious to find the boy who helped her fight that phantom. It made sense that Riku wished her luck with her studies and left her behind. Barring a few brushes with Xehanort's lackeys, Riku has always been the sensible one.

_But sensible makes my heart ache._

So Kairi sniffles out her fear and frustration, wiping angrily, fruitlessly at her face as the tears outstrip her attempts to control them. And Aqua keeps stroking her hair, stopping only once to offer her a folded baby-blue handkerchief. It's well past sundown by the time Kairi feels calm enough to look up from her knees and meet her Master's kind, patient eyes.

"I'm—I'm— _sorry_ ," she hiccoughs.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," Aqua says. Calm. Reassuring.

"I _do_. I'm weak. Too weak for—for what I want."

"I don't think so. I think you're exhausted, and upset, and you have every right to be. A lot's happened to you in such a short time, hasn't it, Kairi?"

Kairi hiccoughs again, but shrugs.

Aqua's blue eyes are very, very soft. "You won't benefit from a night of shivering out here. Will you come and have a sleepover with me? I think... we have a lot to talk about tonight."

Kairi _is_ tired, and upset, and curious, and is not a princess used to "roughing it" in the wilderness yet—so, after a long pause, she agrees.

✯

Ventus, always shy around Kairi, is kind enough to have a slice of ice cream cake waiting for her when they pass through the kitchen on their way to Aqua's room. She suspects that Aqua (who typically stays outside all day with her) must have some way of communicating with _her_ best friends across long distances to make this possible, and feels a twinge of jealousy that she has to squash to give Ven the grateful smile he deserves.

Ever since stating her intent to study with Aqua in this world, Kairi has more or less lived here—a dusty tower room with soft earthy palettes is her second home since 'leaving' Radiant Garden as a child. It was difficult to say goodbye to her island friends, most of whom have spent more time _missing_ her the past few years than _seeing_ her—but it was what was necessary to become stronger. To get to a level where she couldn't— _wouldn't_ —be left behind anymore.

The tower room remains empty tonight. Instead, Kairi follows Aqua down the key-patterned hallways of another tower entirely, until they reach the Master's room.

" _My_ old room," Aqua always clarifies, whenever anyone refers to it that way. Probably because _the_ Master's room, Master Eraqus' room, is a shut-up old thing that none of his three disciples go near, _ever_.

Kairi knows it is out of respect, but wonders if it isn't out of fear too. _She_ has it hard enough trying to walk the path of self-improvement that Sora and Riku walked before her; she can't imagine what it would be like to try and inhabit a dead man's space along with his title. Or what it's _actually_ like for Aqua to try and emulate a man whose training with the Keyblade will always be _better_ and _deeper_ than anything his students, and _their_ students, might accomplish on their own.

"It gets really cold up here this time of year, so I've got plenty of blankets!" Aqua chirps. "We can set up wherever you'd like. Even in my bed if you're comfortable with that."

Kairi is, but she doesn't feel brave enough to say so, so she works some tiny magic instead. With a crook of her finger, a tiny tug of Gravity magic, all the colorful blankets she could ever ask for leap off Aqua's bed and make a nice comfy pile on the plush carpet.

"Are you sure this is okay?" she asks afterward. Because, well, she's _late_ asking, but best to be sure.

"Looks perfect."

Aqua is a very graceful young woman; every move she makes appears deeply thought out even when it's casual. She looks like a gymnast finishing a routine as she lowers herself to the floor and pulls a threadbare pink blanket especially close.

"Come on," she encourages. Kairi sits down right next to her, close enough that their shoulders rub together and produce a tiny spark of static electricity. They both jerk away from each other a second, then laugh softly. Any awkwardness that followed them into the room is dispelled. It means Kairi can finish her Double Crunch ice cream cake without feeling out of place.

"Okay," Aqua says. "Just you and me now. No spectators. No wizards. No expectations. Will you tell me what's wrong?"

Kairi almost doesn't.

But... there's really no one else she feels comfortable confiding in about this. No one else that will understand. And though she doesn't remember it well now, Aqua _is_ one of the first friends she ever made.

She stretches the words out on her tongue. "I'm... falling behind again. No matter how hard I try to catch up."

The older girl is silent.

"The first time I went on an adventure, I was locked securely away in Sora's heart," Kairi recalls, slowly. "Riku left first—like always—and Sora followed him looking for both of us. And he grew up on that journey in a good way—a strong way. But even though I was with him all along, I didn't gain the same experience that Sora did. I don't have... his skill at using the Keyblade, or connecting so easily and wonderfully with strangers."

Aqua's lips quirk upward. "I think that's a skill unique to Sora alone." She's probably remembering the way Sora rescued her from the deepest depths of the Realm of Darkness.

"And Riku... Riku worked _so hard_ to overcome the darkness in his heart, to try and remain the boy we love so much. He struggled to atone for things we didn't even blame him for. He learned how to harness _both_ sides of an incredible power. I was... _am_... so proud of him. Of both of them. But I..."

"Yes?"

"I... don't have a story like that."

"You don't _need_ to," Aqua says encouragingly. "No two Keyblade wielders have the exact same journey, no matter how similarly they may start out. You've just proved that with Sora and Riku. They're best friends and they went on completely different paths. The same will be true for you, when it's your time to have a proper journey."

_Okay. But... still..._

"Even if that's true... it doesn't change how I feel. I'm _always_ the one left behind." Kairi feels her eyes well up against her will.

Aqua opens her mouth to say something—and nothing comes out. Instead her mouth forms a silent _Oh_. It seems she finally has an idea of just what Kairi is driving at.

"It doesn't matter if I'm a princess or a Guardian of Light. At the end of the day, Sora, Riku and I always get separated! And usually that means Sora and Riku are fighting whatever threat is trying to tear apart the worlds, while I wait behind a door and rub my good luck charm raw and hope they come home. That little bit of peace we had after Sora and Riku defeated Xemnas and made it back to the islands was a dream... and like every dream it ended way too soon. Different paths... seldom let their travelers meet up again."

She sniffles again, and Aqua immediately pulls her into a tight hug under all their blankets.

"That's why I asked Master Yen Sid to send me to you instead of Merlin. Not just because you're wonderful, and strong, and the best choice to teach the rest of us how to be Keyblade Masters. Because you were _like me_. You, Terra and Ven were kept apart by one man and the most complex plan in all the worlds. You _understand_ what it's like to be separated from your friends for a long time—left behind—unable to reach them no matter how hard you try. And... you're the only person I know who didn't stop fighting until you got them back anyway."

"Oh, Kairi." Aqua's own eyes look a little watery now. "Getting them back was the hardest thing I've ever done... it was us against the world for so long. And then Master Xehanort enacted his plans, and Master Eraqus was dead, and it was _me_ against the world... and I nearly gave up. There was just so much darkness. I came through, but it wasn't easy."

"But you _did_ get through it."

"Yes. But not just by being strong or magically talented. Or good with my Keyblade."

"But—but Aqua—"

"Kairi," Aqua says. "I'm... I'm flattered that you think so well of me, really I am... but I don't know how I can help you. I don't know what you want me to do."

"I want you to teach me how to get stronger like you did!" Kairi blurts. "How to beat you when we train. How to be someone who can fight _with_ my friends, instead of staying behind waiting for them to fight _for_ me."

Her words echo in the still air.

_Please, Aqua. Help me._

It's very quiet.

 _Say something_.

Aqua keeps hugging her. She rubs Kairi's hands and rests her chin on Kairi's head. Kairi doesn't realize how much nervous energy she's still carrying from the fight until it starts draining away under the older girl's patient ministrations.

"Kairi... you're right. Just like you, I know what it's like to lose your friends—and to feel like you'll never catch up to them or be with them again. But there's something else you have to understand too, okay? Something very important."

Kairi strains her ears...

"I can't turn you into me. I can teach you all my magic, show you all the attacks I ever learned, but that's not a guarantee of anything. You could beat me, Terra, Ven, Lea, Roxas, and Xion in a hundred matches starting tomorrow and it still wouldn't mean you had what you needed to stand side by side with Riku and Sora."

_What...?_

Aqua exhales slowly. "This is just a reminder. You know this already. The most important thing to have as a Keyblade wielder isn't physical strength, or magic, or intellect, or charisma... it's heart. Strength of the heart."

Kairi shivers. A burst of familiar warmth, of _light_ , has just flickered in her chest, as if reminding her it is still there.

The older girl lifts one hand up to brush a long lock of blue hair away from her forehead before she goes on. The uncharacteristic fidgeting tells Kairi what she's thinking about before she puts it into words. "Me, Ven and Terra... Master Xehanort was able to split the three of us up because we forgot to trust each other's hearts. We forgot to use our love for each other to cut through the darkness. By the time we came back together, it was too late... Xehanort had basically won. And we were destined to be apart for over a decade."

Earlier in the day, the _evening_ even, Kairi might have cut in here, to say something about how Aqua's power and prowess still came through when she needed them most—but just like Aqua understands Kairi's anguish about being cast aside while her boys fought great battles, Kairi thinks _she_ is beginning to understand that to Aqua, during all those dark lonely years, her training really _hadn't_ been enough.

Being _able_ to fight isn't the same as having the _will_.

"Fighting the Shadows was muscle memory, after all that time fighting the Unversed," Aqua recalls. "The only thing difficult about it was how _never-ending_ it was. That's how the darkness gets to you, really; it tires you out, makes you think that giving in might be easier than resisting. And for me, the temptation to give in was strong. I thought my friends were already lost to the darkness anyway. Why not join them?"

Kairi squeezes Aqua's other hand. Aqua squeezes back.

"Terra and Ven were the ones who saved me then. And I remembered... why I was fighting in the first place. Why it was all so important. So that the people I held closest in my heart could be safe and happy. So that one day we might achieve our dream and be Keyblade Masters together. ...That's what you really want, isn't it Kairi? Not the power to stand with them, but the _heart_ to do it."

Kairi's lips tremble as she nods.

"Yes."

Aqua turns Kairi around to face her, placing a finger on her heart. Her whisper is reverent. "You already have that."

"No—I don't, Aqua. I _can't_."

"You do. You're the strongest person I've ever met, Kairi. There are others who don't have the strength to follow their dreams, you know. Typically they give up and accept whatever limitations they think they have... they never find out if they could be something more after all. But not you. No matter what happens to you—if you're hurt, kidnapped, challenged, if your very heart is stolen away—you _keep fighting_! You keep finding your way back to your friends. You've even saved Sora and Riku when they were on the brink of dying or giving up themselves!

"That's why you have to stop thinking of getting stronger in terms of just training and learning spells, or defeating other wielders. You may not have always been able to summon a Keyblade and stand beside your friends, but you've always— _always_ —made the best of what you had. And sometimes, just being the one to light the way home is the strongest thing a person can be."

The warmth in her chest spreads, and she feels teary for maybe the hundredth time today. Kairi has never ever considered herself _strong_ before; not in the way Sora or Riku is strong, anyway. No, she's always felt like a little kid holding them back from their true potential—yet desperate to catch up and preserve their childhood bond. No one has ever told her she is _already_ strong enough to stand with them.

It's the nicest thing Aqua has ever said to her.

"We should get some sleep," Aqua says, after looking at a clock in the corner of her room and sighing. "It's really late. But I want you to really think about what I've said, Kairi, about strength of the heart. I can teach you everything I know, but the power that will reunite you with your friends isn't something I can give you. It's something you have to find inside yourself. And in the meantime, I'm sure Sora and Riku will carry you in their hearts until you're all together again."

Kairi's smile is more radiant than the moonlight. They cuddle close, even though she's so warm inside she really could go without the extra heat. "Aqua... thank you."

"You're welcome. Now—bed!"

"Okay, okay!"

✯

The next day is cold and cloudy, and Kairi loses mid-afternoon when Aqua conjures a tornado twenty feet high and uses it to blow her off the mountain.

But instead of brooding or crying, she smiles.

 _I'm strong enough to win_ , she thinks. _This battle and any other. Whatever it takes to find Sora and Riku, and fight alongside them. I just have to_ find _that strength._

Kairi's muscles are sore, her hair is a mess, and her Keyblade is freezing to the touch; but her heart is bolstered. She's worked this long already. There's a light at the end of the tunnel.

She will try again tomorrow.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired twofold by [the chorus of Aaron Carpenter's song "Chase"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vp-q7tXXNBs) and Terra's encouraging quote to Cinderella in Birth By Sleep: "Strength of heart will carry you through the hardest of trials."
> 
> Happy second anniversary, KH3!! Thanks again for saving my life. And thanks to anyone who reads!


End file.
